My weekly report

hello. Yes I know is been quite some time since i updated my blog but i have my reasons for it! I was on sailing for 5 straights days so no time to update my blog... Sailing sucks cause i fall sick during the sailing so shall not talk about it ! But what most important is i manage to recover in time to send my wonderful weekends with my friends !! :) Went double O on sat, and when i went in i was like " eh. where's the dance floor for manbo" cause is like the first time i go there la!! hahaha... So went over to find my friends was driving so i deicided not to drink. Order a cup of soft drinks and i paid the waiter 20 dollars, but he show me 3 fingers so i was like " fark la 30 dollars for a cup of soft drinks" so when i was reaching out for my wallet he just took the 10 bucks and went off..... Is only THREE dollars la !! haha so dumb of me. Now i know where so many pple like to go there for clubbing cause is dirt cheap... hahaha. Sunday went to Kallang for the Car show thingy, IT SUCKS BIG TIME !!!! is like a mega outdoor car show room la... hiax. not quite what i expected !!! stupid Gabriel ask me to go in thy end tua me. Thanks Andre for accompanying me :) I love u ! ;p. After that meet up with the rest of the gang, Sylvester Keegay Gabriel Yifang and Joyce at some cafe where we played monopoly for hours !!! haha actually it was quite fun shouted like no one business hahaha....

To Gabriel and Andre: If u are reading this post im sorry but " LOSER " hahaha cause me and keegay won !! They Bankrupted half way... *evil laughter*

Thank you my friends....

Wooo... Thanks for all the encouraging words! Actually i was surprise u guys came and read my blog... *touched* haha.

Today is a special day for me and her, 11.11.08 it was suppose to be our anniversary! The 4Th year anniversary. But i decided to do duty instead. Because don't think she will be free tonight to go out together with me *maybe is dun wan* and the other reason is my batch boy sell me his duty at $200 dollars. So doing duty might kill my time faster and kill off some stupid thinking ;) at the same time can pay off some of my car installment !! hahaha. Now I'm like thinking what is she thinking, maybe she's playing with her cute burger? really hope can go out with her and burger and play with them. But i know for now is quite impossible *cross my fingers*

Think my part-time girlfriend( Rachel ) is damn lucky la! today i was like working in my engine room for the whole afternoon den finally when i have a 10 min break decided to award myself with a stick of CIG !! haha so once i walk out of the engine room my phone rung !! So she ask me if I'm free on Friday to have dinner with her so i said "yes of course I'm like the free-est guy now la" To my biggest surprise is she is also joining us for the dinner!! Thanks Rachel i LOVE u lots... haha.. help me arrange a group dinner with her, thou is a group dinner but is better den nothing looking at her talking to her and eating with her is good enough for me! Cant wait till Friday la ! but I'm going to sail out to somewhere out there till Thurs so i guess time will pass faster den usual !!! Think before i go have dinner with them I'll go trim my hair ;) haha. okay think later if I'm more free den blog some more me now need to go walk around the ship to make sure everything is okay :) Friday Friday here i come !! hahahaha

As expected, another cold treatment from her. Seriously I'm kinda used to it already, hahaha. Who am i kidding right... Ever since when I'm back in Singapore I've been thinking back about this relationship. But whats the use? when I'm alone crying emo-ing what is she doing. happily drinking with friends enjoying her oversea holidays? i don't know. she might be the same as me just that she is stronger then me on the outside that's why she don't show it to other people... Again this i seriously don't know. I think loving a person and having the person is two different thing. loving the person is u wanna shower her with love care concern etc etc... having a person is like someone who you can rely on, when u bored can ask her go out, call her on the phone, catch a movie dinner and the list goes on and on and on.... So the question I've been trying to find out for myself is I love her or I not used to being alone. Guess this question is the kind that there's no answer booklet, formulas or anyone who can help u to solve.

What i plan to do for my future days are as planned: Monday out in town with my dear buddy
Tuesday 4th year celebration at home/jogging
Wednesday Sailing
Thursday Sailing / back home / jogging
Friday See anyone is free to play majong
Life is quite a routine nowadays, must try to get used to it !!! I must be strong. For now I guess things is not as good as what i think it is but ive not given up yet. I shall just be alone for now and when she's needs me im always there for her 24/7.

Isit fate? or im thinking too much

Today marks the birth of my new baby!! Damn happy when i collected my car today, went thru every details to make sure everything is there where it's suppose to be! After done with the check list i was told to drive away the car !!! hahaha.... But guess what shortly after driving out of the showroom my forward right rim was scratch by the stupid kerb!!!! FARKING piss at myself but my parents and sister was like "hey! is okay as long as the body and engine look nice can liao" Love them lots !!! :) Shall take this time to tell my parents and sister that I love u guys thou i never really shower u guys with my love but deep inside myself i know i cant live without you!!

But one thing that surprise me was my new car plate no. i did not plan for any of these to happen. really!! anyway the no. was SJK9046H the no. is her first 4 hp digit. :) i dun know if i should be happy or sad. One reason for me to buy a new car was to hope that the memories of her and me can fade away so i dun always think of her... but now the new car buy liao den the no. is her hp no. i seriously dun know what God is doing to me.... is like torturing me la !!!! But one thing i always believe in is "FATE" so i'll just wait for things to happen. Meanwhile i'll still try to salvage this relationship as much as possible, for a start i just hope we can be normal friends.... My last wish for this week is hoping to see her at Villa Bali for the send off cum bday celebration with zw. Till this very min im still unsure if she's even interested in going.... but i just hope u guys will pray as hard as me... pray that she will go for the celebration and i promise this time round i'll not screw it up!!! :)

Dun know who will be reading my blog cause i din really tell anyone abt it? :) So whatever u read here just keep it here... Thanks :)

Today was a tiring day for me! Was doing overnight duty onboard my ship yesterday so din manage to sleep much. Was damn tired when i was making my way back to sembawang, thought i was going home right !! :) but guess again... went to the NDU base for this damage control team test which we fail in thy end so shall not talk much abt it cause that wasnt the reason why i decided to blog... haha

Went back home after all the test and training, chiong straight to my laptop and on my msn, cause i know she will be online! And guess what she is really online... So i was seriously thinking if i should start contacting her, finally i pick up my courage and msn her, and to my surprise she replied me!! :) I was like WeeEeee... so decided to ask her out soon to chit chat dinner etc etc. But she rejected me i wasnt really very sad cause somehow i knew that was coming but even if there's a 0.00000000001% chance she will say "yes" i will put my pride manhood "skin" etc etc all aside and just pray that she will say yes... But that's not the most hurting thing she said to me... she said "i dun wish to have dinner alone with you"... I seriously understand why she said that to me... i dun blame her! i blame myself my job and my stupid character!!!

Some pple might read this blog and laugh at my english but i dun care!!! just wan a place to say out what i really feel !!! Anyway i din force u to read, so please F#%K OFF okay...

Some pple might also think why am i so stupid. Which i think i am! I dun really care, i just know love is never fair if u ever wan a fair love u will just be single for the rest of your life and im serious!! I dun wan to regret one day, i know she hurt me very deep, behind my back did many things which a girlfriend should not do but i dun care all i know is i love her and i wan her back... Which is impossible now... HA HA HA why must fate do this to me, i was happily in love with her and just need just a min to take everything away from me and make my world so dark!! WHY WHY WHY !!!! what have i done wrong in the past.... But mark my word! i will not give up without trying... I will not lose the girl i love most to that guy!! I know my friends out there are very worry abt me. This time i'll set myself a limit. Sometimes we just got to let them go cause u never know leaving you will be a better choice for him/her, so if i know is time to let her go i will let it go. Just pray that the next person u get will treat u better, if he cant treat u better at least give u more happiness den me!!!

So to those who are reading this blog, dun wait till it's lost forever den u start to treasure it!

To my friends out there, dun worry abt me! im okay just abit emo thats all.
To my buddy I'll rather YOU go and concentrate on my studies. Please i know u care alot abt me but im worry more abt your studies okay !! buddy for life ;)

Finally my first blog..

Hmm..... since is my first post seriously i dun know what i should start with. Shall start off with Monday, 3/11/08. i was on leave that day like finally !!! still got 11 more days of leave to clear !!! Went out with Sylvester to ubi to check out his blow out valve for pple who dun know. is actually those sound "shwoo shwoo" from turbo charged car like EVO, WRX... if wan to know how this valve really works can ask me out for a coffee den i can try to explain to u fully... :) So while he was looking for his valve i also went to search for my "zheng" item ( Felicia must be thinking STOP thinking of zhening car !!!) realise zhenging car is quite expensive.. but u know no pain no gain in car term means no zheng no power!! haha... after that went over to Geylang to makan. After that went home for my second round of dinner !! yum yum... Thought i could stay at home the whole night after that......... But my buddy change my mind, decided to pei her go AMK to study while i surf net using my laptop so was there from 10plus to abt 2 plus!! oh sylvester and joyce was there also as usual sylvester was busying disturbing the girls den they keep saying " KERVIN!! u see sylvester !!!" lol... So after the supper at tp, i was in charge of sending Felicia the princess home !! haha... So before she went home we are chatting abt relationship, she make me realise many things that i never thought before.. (THANKS !!!!) not forgetting the rest of my friends shall not name them later they say why my name last why my name not there why this why that... but u guys know i have u in my heart can liao !!! I LOVE U GUYS.... and im still waiting for u to come back :)

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